1 00:00:46,465 --> 00:00:48,899 Trust me, I know what I'm doing. 2 00:00:58,105 --> 00:01:00,061 Good evening. I'm Robin Leach. 3 00:01:00,145 --> 00:01:04,104 Sledge Hammer's producers asked me to explain tonight's episode. 4 00:01:04,185 --> 00:01:07,621 Let me be frank. It is an attempt to boost the ratings. 5 00:01:07,705 --> 00:01:11,823 There are many ways to do this - better scripts, more warmth 6 00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:15,454 and big name guest stars, but we're desperate. 7 00:01:15,545 --> 00:01:20,699 So in tonight's episode, we're going to rely on four sure-fire ratings grabbers. 8 00:01:20,785 --> 00:01:26,223 Sex, violence, rock music and, best of all, a cliffhanger ending 9 00:01:26,305 --> 00:01:30,981 that will keep our viewers glued to the edge of their seats untiI next season, 10 00:01:31,065 --> 00:01:34,341 thus ensuring there will be a next season. 11 00:01:34,425 --> 00:01:37,019 Trust me, I know what I'm doing. 12 00:01:51,145 --> 00:01:54,774 Thunderbird 1 to base, we just passed checkpoint 3. 13 00:01:54,865 --> 00:01:57,857 All is clear. Over and... What the... 14 00:02:14,625 --> 00:02:19,380 All right, ladies, the party's over. This is a restricted area. 15 00:02:19,465 --> 00:02:23,458 Aw, come on, guys, we're just having fun. Think fast! 16 00:02:48,225 --> 00:02:52,935 Hammer, I must congratulate you on apprehending those bank robbers. 17 00:02:53,025 --> 00:02:59,419 I... I just can't believe that you got them to surrender their weapons 18 00:02:59,505 --> 00:03:04,215 by reading aloud from the collected works of Rod McKuen. 19 00:03:04,305 --> 00:03:08,856 - Great! - Some of them were weeping openly. 20 00:03:08,945 --> 00:03:13,461 The truth is that poetry is more effective than tear gas. Remember that. 21 00:03:13,545 --> 00:03:18,699 - And you didn't even draw your weapon. - I tell you, who needs this silly thing? 22 00:03:18,785 --> 00:03:20,776 Oh, I'm sorry. 23 00:03:20,865 --> 00:03:23,015 - No, no, no! - I'm paying for that. 24 00:03:23,105 --> 00:03:27,656 - Keep your money in your pocket! - Sledge, I'm so proud of you! 25 00:03:28,505 --> 00:03:31,941 You know, it takes a reaI man to do what you did. 26 00:03:33,705 --> 00:03:37,380 - What a wonderfuI woman. A woman! - Come here. 27 00:03:37,465 --> 00:03:39,501 I've got something for you. 28 00:03:56,785 --> 00:03:58,741 What a terrible nightmare! 29 00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:13,901 Hey, Hammer, you'd better get away from that door. 30 00:04:13,985 --> 00:04:16,135 - Why? - There's a top-secret meeting 31 00:04:16,225 --> 00:04:19,376 with Trunk and Doreau and some army brass. 32 00:04:19,465 --> 00:04:23,538 Really? Well, I'm sure they're expecting me. 33 00:04:25,985 --> 00:04:27,941 It's really stuck! 34 00:04:28,025 --> 00:04:33,418 This is a matter of nationaI security. I must insist on complete privacy. 35 00:04:33,505 --> 00:04:35,461 GeneraI, you can count on it. 36 00:04:40,345 --> 00:04:45,373 What's the big idea? Wait, you planning an invasion without telling me? 37 00:04:45,465 --> 00:04:48,457 - Who is this man? - Reporting for duty, sir. 38 00:04:48,545 --> 00:04:51,821 Inspector Sledge Hammer... and this is my platoon. 39 00:04:51,905 --> 00:04:55,693 GeneraI, I promise you there will be no further interruptions! 40 00:04:55,785 --> 00:04:59,061 - Hey, who ordered the hero speciaI? - Me. Thank you. 41 00:04:59,145 --> 00:05:01,898 - Hope there's enough mayonnaise. - I'm sure it's fine. 42 00:05:01,985 --> 00:05:05,341 - Hammer! - I'd just like to say that I really am a fan 43 00:05:05,425 --> 00:05:09,384 of what you guys did in Grenada and I love the TV commercials! 44 00:05:09,465 --> 00:05:12,821 - You damn war... - No, no, Captain, that's quite all right. 45 00:05:12,905 --> 00:05:14,861 I don't know why, but I like him. 46 00:05:14,945 --> 00:05:18,221 He reminds me of myself as a young man. 47 00:05:18,305 --> 00:05:22,093 - Oh, God! - I'll just fill him in on what's happened. 48 00:05:22,185 --> 00:05:25,336 A class D warhead was en route to a secret test site. 49 00:05:25,425 --> 00:05:28,462 - The truck was intercepted by terrorists. - What were they? 50 00:05:28,545 --> 00:05:31,378 A bunch of drug-crazed hippies packing M16s? 51 00:05:31,465 --> 00:05:36,220 - No, a team of women in bikinis. - Oh, really? Ho-ho-ho! 52 00:05:36,305 --> 00:05:39,377 - Hammer, this is serious. - That's right. 53 00:05:39,465 --> 00:05:42,855 - That's why I'm here. - She never wears a bikini. 54 00:05:42,945 --> 00:05:46,062 It's because of my background in terrorist psychology. 55 00:05:46,145 --> 00:05:49,421 This never would've happened if the military hadn't gone soft. 56 00:05:49,505 --> 00:05:55,262 You need to depend on fine soldiers like this man. Where are you from, son? 57 00:05:55,345 --> 00:05:59,099 This is the man who betrayed his country. 58 00:05:59,185 --> 00:06:02,336 He was having an affair with one of the terrorists. 59 00:06:02,425 --> 00:06:05,223 You traitor, you Judas, you Benedict Arnold! 60 00:06:05,305 --> 00:06:09,696 - Hammer! - You see? I can't trust my own men! 61 00:06:09,785 --> 00:06:12,936 So I had to bypass InternaI Security and come to you. 62 00:06:13,025 --> 00:06:16,574 There's a bomb out there and I want it back! 63 00:06:16,665 --> 00:06:19,020 This is a Priority 1 Red Alert! 64 00:06:20,025 --> 00:06:22,983 A bunch of women with a lethaI warhead. 65 00:06:23,065 --> 00:06:26,375 Just look at the damage they can do with one credit card. 66 00:06:33,025 --> 00:06:36,142 - What colour were her eyes? - Blue. 67 00:06:36,225 --> 00:06:41,253 What is it with this computer always? Why don't you get the sketch artist? 68 00:06:41,345 --> 00:06:44,098 He quit. Makes more money at county fairs. 69 00:06:45,025 --> 00:06:47,698 OK. How about the hair? 70 00:06:47,785 --> 00:06:53,018 - Er... silky blonde with little highlights... - Oh, give it a rest, will you? 71 00:06:53,105 --> 00:06:56,177 I'm telling you, this is not going to work. 72 00:06:56,265 --> 00:06:57,903 That's her! 73 00:06:59,585 --> 00:07:02,975 - What are you waiting for? Print it up. - OK, OK. 74 00:07:08,745 --> 00:07:11,782 - What's taking it so long? - Hold on. 75 00:07:17,705 --> 00:07:21,539 You sold your country down the river for this. Was it worth it? 76 00:07:22,145 --> 00:07:24,101 What do you think? 77 00:07:26,305 --> 00:07:29,615 - What did you say her name was? - Scarlett O'Hara. 78 00:07:30,505 --> 00:07:33,941 - That sounds familiar. - It's obviously an alias. 79 00:07:34,025 --> 00:07:35,583 Oh, right. 80 00:07:37,465 --> 00:07:40,298 - There's no file on this woman. - Inspector? 81 00:07:40,385 --> 00:07:42,979 They're about to tow your car away. 82 00:07:43,065 --> 00:07:47,581 There was a legaI parking spot after I knocked the sign down. 83 00:07:47,665 --> 00:07:51,214 - You parked on a suspect. - Well, he was guilty. 84 00:07:51,305 --> 00:07:53,296 A suspect, Hammer. 85 00:07:53,385 --> 00:07:56,422 - Innocent untiI proven guilty. - Is that new? 86 00:07:59,225 --> 00:08:01,136 Hey... 87 00:08:01,225 --> 00:08:03,898 I think I know this girI. 88 00:08:03,985 --> 00:08:07,660 - Who is she? - I saw her at my aerobics class 89 00:08:07,745 --> 00:08:11,294 at the Jill Taylor's Fitness Center. 90 00:08:11,385 --> 00:08:15,219 - Which one? There are thousands. - The originaI one downtown. 91 00:08:15,305 --> 00:08:19,264 Doreau, call the FBI and see if you can get a make on that picture. 92 00:08:19,345 --> 00:08:23,304 I'll go to the health club, see if I can find Little Miss Armageddon. 93 00:08:35,105 --> 00:08:37,539 "Jill Taylor's Housewife Fitness Programme", 94 00:08:37,625 --> 00:08:42,176 "Expectant Mothers' Programme", "The Divorced Woman's Programme". 95 00:08:42,265 --> 00:08:44,221 Got anything for me? 96 00:08:47,065 --> 00:08:50,580 "The Blond Fascist Pig Programme. " 97 00:08:50,665 --> 00:08:56,661 - I'd like to speak to this Jill Taylor. - She's in there, but you can't go in. 98 00:08:56,745 --> 00:08:59,703 Let me guess. She's doing a workout tape. 99 00:08:59,785 --> 00:09:02,902 That's right! "The Las Vegas Showgirls' Programme. " 100 00:09:06,265 --> 00:09:08,142 .. five, six, seven, eight. 101 00:09:08,225 --> 00:09:11,615 One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. 102 00:09:12,305 --> 00:09:16,218 One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. 103 00:09:16,905 --> 00:09:20,693 One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. 104 00:09:20,785 --> 00:09:22,741 One, two, three, four... 105 00:09:22,825 --> 00:09:25,737 - Hold it, hold it. - Take five. 106 00:09:37,625 --> 00:09:41,584 Inspector Sledge Hammer. I wanna ask you a couple of questions. 107 00:09:41,665 --> 00:09:44,623 Sure. Keep up with me and we can talk. 108 00:09:47,065 --> 00:09:49,181 - Is this really necessary? - Yes. 109 00:09:49,265 --> 00:09:51,733 It's essentiaI for your cardiovascular system. 110 00:09:51,825 --> 00:09:55,295 - Do we have to do it right now? - If you suddenly stop exercising, 111 00:09:55,385 --> 00:09:57,615 - your muscles will cramp up. - Oh. 112 00:09:58,745 --> 00:10:02,420 - Ever seen this woman? - She was in my class, but dropped out. 113 00:10:02,505 --> 00:10:05,178 - No commitment. - How many times did she attend? 114 00:10:05,265 --> 00:10:08,302 - 700. - Some people just can't cut it. 115 00:10:11,145 --> 00:10:14,501 - Inspector Hammer, are you all right? - Yeah, I'm fine. 116 00:10:14,585 --> 00:10:17,941 I'm demonstrating a police force breathing technique. 117 00:10:18,025 --> 00:10:21,574 You look like you need my remediaI aerobics course. 118 00:10:21,665 --> 00:10:27,774 Listen, lady, I'm a man. I can do anything you can do... except conceive. 119 00:10:27,865 --> 00:10:29,901 Now, let's get physicaI! 120 00:10:32,625 --> 00:10:38,382 - Do you remember the name of the girI? - Um... Joan. Er... Mickey. Er... Carrie. 121 00:10:38,465 --> 00:10:42,140 I don't know. You'll have to look it up in the files. 122 00:10:46,345 --> 00:10:49,098 Did she ever do anything suspicious? 123 00:10:50,025 --> 00:10:52,175 I saw her eating red meat once. 124 00:10:56,745 --> 00:11:00,101 Inspector Hammer, don't you ever lift weights? 125 00:11:01,145 --> 00:11:03,340 I lift this one every day. 126 00:11:07,625 --> 00:11:09,900 Anything else you can tell me about her? 127 00:11:09,985 --> 00:11:14,775 I have hundreds of clients. I don't have time to keep tabs on every single one. 128 00:11:14,865 --> 00:11:18,221 Do you know where all the criminals you've dealt with are? 129 00:11:18,305 --> 00:11:20,660 Yeah, the cemetery. 130 00:11:21,985 --> 00:11:25,694 Look... you look like you could use a break. 131 00:11:25,785 --> 00:11:27,741 Why don't you get her file? 132 00:11:28,945 --> 00:11:30,901 Anything to help. 133 00:11:35,745 --> 00:11:38,305 Ow, ow... Hi. 134 00:11:51,505 --> 00:11:55,464 - Would you pick that up for me, please? - What happened to you? 135 00:11:57,105 --> 00:12:00,063 Jill Taylor challenged me to a workout. 136 00:12:00,145 --> 00:12:03,103 I got pains in places I didn't even know I had places. 137 00:12:03,185 --> 00:12:05,983 What did you find out? Other than you're in lousy shape? 138 00:12:06,065 --> 00:12:12,095 You'll have more respect when you see what I got on that tank top terrorist. 139 00:12:12,185 --> 00:12:14,858 - What did you get? - I got her address for one. 140 00:12:14,945 --> 00:12:19,257 - 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. - Hammer, that's the White House. 141 00:12:20,345 --> 00:12:22,905 Oh, we can't bust Nancy Reagan. 142 00:12:22,985 --> 00:12:27,137 It's obviously a fake address! The health club must be in on this. 143 00:12:27,225 --> 00:12:30,581 - Jill Taylor's hiding something. - She couldn't hide anything. 144 00:12:30,665 --> 00:12:37,013 - That leotard was so tight, you could... - This time I'll go to the club. Undercover. 145 00:12:37,825 --> 00:12:40,134 I won't come back with a bogus address. 146 00:12:40,225 --> 00:12:43,535 Hammer, get in here immediately! 147 00:12:44,785 --> 00:12:46,696 Ow, ow, ow... 148 00:12:46,785 --> 00:12:49,345 I've just received this cassette. 149 00:12:54,825 --> 00:12:56,781 "We have your warhead. 150 00:12:56,865 --> 00:13:01,734 "Deliver one billion dollars to our Swiss account inside of 12 hours 151 00:13:01,825 --> 00:13:04,578 "or we'll blow your city to kingdom come. " 152 00:13:04,665 --> 00:13:08,214 A billion dollars! Phew! 153 00:13:10,025 --> 00:13:12,698 I wonder what that is after taxes. 154 00:13:19,865 --> 00:13:25,144 I knew this would happen. I could see it coming. It was inevitable. 155 00:13:25,225 --> 00:13:29,582 Hammer, you get involved in a case, suddenly it is the end of the world! 156 00:13:29,665 --> 00:13:34,181 Look at the bright side. A city full of crooks is getting the death penalty. 157 00:13:34,265 --> 00:13:37,621 Will you clear the lines, ragweed? 158 00:13:37,705 --> 00:13:41,664 We're in the middle of a crisis! Just get off the phone, maggot! 159 00:13:41,745 --> 00:13:44,134 - Who is it? - Some guy says he's the Governor. 160 00:13:44,225 --> 00:13:45,544 Aaah! 161 00:13:45,625 --> 00:13:50,016 - Yes, Governor? GeneraI Mills. - Didn't sound like the Governor. 162 00:13:50,105 --> 00:13:53,575 - Didn't sound like the Governor. - I understand. 163 00:13:55,945 --> 00:13:59,938 - The state won't pay the billion. - That's the kind of government I like. 164 00:14:00,025 --> 00:14:03,984 - They don't give in to blackmaiI. - They don't have the money. 165 00:14:04,065 --> 00:14:07,023 - What are we gonna do? - Nothing, that's what. 166 00:14:07,105 --> 00:14:10,381 I guarantee you, these terrorettes are bluffing. 167 00:14:10,465 --> 00:14:15,539 - But what if they're not? - It won't matter cos we'll all be dead. 168 00:14:20,625 --> 00:14:23,583 I'll get that! 169 00:14:24,865 --> 00:14:27,220 GeneraI Mills. 170 00:14:27,305 --> 00:14:30,058 - For you. - Governor, you wanted to talk to me? 171 00:14:30,145 --> 00:14:33,694 - Hammer... - Oh, hi, Doreau. It's Doreau. Excuse me. 172 00:14:38,425 --> 00:14:41,974 - Yeah, go ahead. - They closed the spa for no reason. 173 00:14:42,065 --> 00:14:45,023 Something's happened. Anything new your end? 174 00:14:45,105 --> 00:14:50,623 Not really. Oh, they're going to blow up the city unless we give them $1 billion. 175 00:14:50,705 --> 00:14:54,493 What? They're gonna blow up the city? Get down here and cover me. 176 00:14:54,585 --> 00:14:57,338 Get here as soon as you can. OK. 177 00:15:04,785 --> 00:15:09,939 Something tells me the fitness centre isn't the safest place to be right now. 178 00:15:17,025 --> 00:15:19,380 Tawney Small reporting live. 179 00:15:19,465 --> 00:15:24,220 Captain, is there any truth to the rumour that terrorists have stolen a warhead 180 00:15:24,305 --> 00:15:27,183 and are threatening to blow up the entire city? 181 00:15:28,025 --> 00:15:30,698 That is an irresponsible lie! 182 00:15:30,785 --> 00:15:33,583 Then what's a generaI doing here? 183 00:15:34,825 --> 00:15:39,182 - Perhaps you would care to explain. - Yes, yes, yes, I would. 184 00:15:39,265 --> 00:15:42,814 There are no terrorists, there's no warhead. 185 00:15:42,905 --> 00:15:47,342 - In fact, there's nothing to worry about. - So what you're saying... 186 00:15:47,425 --> 00:15:51,464 GeneraI, you'd better turn on ChanneI 6 right now. 187 00:15:52,705 --> 00:15:56,744 'Now here is another statement from the hooded figure. ' 188 00:15:56,825 --> 00:16:00,181 'Your puny leaders have not responded to our demands. 189 00:16:00,265 --> 00:16:03,223 'We have jammed your airways to show our power. 190 00:16:03,305 --> 00:16:08,425 'If we do not receive the money in ten hours, you will be destroyed. ' 191 00:16:09,345 --> 00:16:11,301 No warhead, huh? 192 00:17:02,665 --> 00:17:04,656 They probably didn't hear that. 193 00:17:10,745 --> 00:17:12,701 They probably heard that. 194 00:17:38,865 --> 00:17:41,663 You girls looking for the powder room? 195 00:17:48,225 --> 00:17:50,739 Now, that was gratuitous. 196 00:18:06,425 --> 00:18:08,381 You throw like a girI! 197 00:18:09,185 --> 00:18:10,937 Here, catch this. 198 00:18:23,065 --> 00:18:25,738 I bet you don't have many boyfriends. 199 00:18:26,505 --> 00:18:29,861 Doreau, I've found you at last. Mission accomplished. 200 00:18:29,945 --> 00:18:32,095 Hammer, I want a new partner. 201 00:18:42,345 --> 00:18:44,905 So we meet again. 202 00:18:44,985 --> 00:18:48,136 If my ex-wife is under that hood, I'm gonna be sick! 203 00:18:51,225 --> 00:18:53,261 Jill Taylor. I don't believe it! 204 00:18:53,345 --> 00:18:59,261 You'll be happy to know that your Governor's capitulated. $1 billion... 205 00:18:59,345 --> 00:19:03,258 $1 billion has been placed in my Swiss bank account. 206 00:19:03,345 --> 00:19:07,020 - I thought they didn't have a billion. - They hit up Iran for a loan. 207 00:19:07,105 --> 00:19:11,781 Why did you do it? So you could finance an Amazon army to take over America 208 00:19:11,865 --> 00:19:14,857 and make us watch soap operas and tie up the phones? 209 00:19:14,945 --> 00:19:18,904 - No, I wanted the money. - Well, now will you call off the threat? 210 00:19:18,985 --> 00:19:22,136 No, I'm gonna ask for more money. I've got a good thing going. 211 00:19:22,225 --> 00:19:24,614 Just like a woman - always changing her mind. 212 00:19:24,705 --> 00:19:28,380 Enough of this chauvinist driveI. I have a broadcast to make. 213 00:19:28,465 --> 00:19:32,140 I gotta go, too. Thanks for steaming the wrinkles out of my jacket. 214 00:19:32,225 --> 00:19:37,777 Not so fast. You've had your exercise, now it's time for your dip in the hot tub. 215 00:19:47,225 --> 00:19:51,503 I also want gold bullion, my own 747, 216 00:19:51,585 --> 00:19:55,737 and a new episode of "Moonlighting" every week. 217 00:19:56,265 --> 00:20:00,053 Oh, Hammer, I guess this is the end of a good team. 218 00:20:00,145 --> 00:20:05,299 Yeah, I'm really gonna miss my gun... and you, too, Doreau. 219 00:20:05,385 --> 00:20:07,535 Oh, and, Dori, 220 00:20:07,625 --> 00:20:10,423 I'm one tough cop, right? 221 00:20:10,505 --> 00:20:12,939 Yeah, Sledge, yeah. 222 00:20:15,625 --> 00:20:17,183 Freeze! 223 00:20:19,585 --> 00:20:21,541 Shut that damn thing off! 224 00:20:22,785 --> 00:20:28,303 From this day forward, all grotesque men will be under my shapely thumb. 225 00:20:32,585 --> 00:20:36,134 Across the country, in bars, ballparks, bowling alleys, 226 00:20:36,225 --> 00:20:38,614 every day will be Ladies' Day. 227 00:20:38,705 --> 00:20:41,219 - Furthermore... - Hold it! 228 00:20:41,305 --> 00:20:44,661 - Your show's been cancelled. - Talking to me? 229 00:20:49,225 --> 00:20:53,537 Jill Taylor is a power-mad thief, extortionist and a threat to democracy. 230 00:20:53,625 --> 00:20:56,378 Not only that, her health club stinks on ice! 231 00:20:56,465 --> 00:20:59,218 FooI! You think you're safe? 232 00:20:59,305 --> 00:21:02,820 I pointlessly set that bomb to detonate in five minutes. 233 00:21:02,905 --> 00:21:06,056 - My God, tell us where it is! - Never. 234 00:21:06,145 --> 00:21:08,500 Would you be willing to rephrase that? 235 00:21:16,185 --> 00:21:18,141 Who even knows if it's here? 236 00:21:18,225 --> 00:21:21,900 Turn off the dang hot tub! I can't think with all this noise! 237 00:21:30,025 --> 00:21:33,142 I've found it! There it is right there! 238 00:22:13,865 --> 00:22:17,619 Boy, this is shaping up to be a really bad day. 239 00:22:40,185 --> 00:22:42,540 Hammer, you can't defuse that bomb! 240 00:22:43,785 --> 00:22:46,743 Trust me, I know what I'm doing. 241 00:23:09,905 --> 00:23:17,255 Hammer! 242 00:23:17,305 --> 00:23:21,855 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0